No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
