I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
