i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
