Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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