Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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