And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
