Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
