i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
