Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
