The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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