i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
