somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
