My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
