I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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