Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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