He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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