They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
