Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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