after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Found the puke drawer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
