Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
