Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
