how can u be prego again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
