it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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