how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
