We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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