kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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