I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
