I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
