arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think people are normalizing furries
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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