Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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