We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
