dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
