when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
