i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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