so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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