i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
