i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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