my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
