so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
