You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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