I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
