What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
