i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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