Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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