brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
