If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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