4 words: hood of his car
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
