Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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