WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
should my penis look like a turkey
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
