It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
