Can i not drive my cunt home
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
