Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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