At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
