I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
