Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
