eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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